gayweeddaddy69:

Checked in on my parents in CA cuz the hurricane and my dad sent me this

(via narwhalsarefalling)

frawgs:

u don’t touch this bitch for one (1) day and the spiders start living lavish

(via then00breturns)

duckdotcom:

they’re putting me on the cover of times magazine and also putting a cup over me and there’s even talk of taking me outside

(via protosquid)

a-frog-in-a-bog:

Tumblr: fae king hozier haha bog man who writes songs about nature

Hozier:

ALT

ALT

(via mermaidcowboy)

nendocris:

nendocris:

100 years war

C'est business

Middle aged man ordering a greggs

See Results

WUEY!

(via dykesamus)

sightofsea:

sightofsea:

i always give a lazy two finger salute when cars stop for me at a crosswalk and it’s devolved so much that at this point I feel like an icon of jesus whenever I cross the street

car: stops for me at a crosswalk

me:

oh blessed art thou automobile for you have served the meek and humble. go on your way knowing your act of kindness has saved me 2 minutes on my trip to the bodega

(via yohioloid)

luminouslumity:

I relate to this so much! I too occasionally find myself wondering what the original reactions of classic stories were like.

(via bestfunny)

suredisaster:

suredisaster:

cuddling someone while they play guitar and sing is rly nice. cishet couples were right

he just said “I know youre on your phone typing some shit on tumblr like ‘a trans man is playing car seat headrest to me’ rn”

(via then00breturns)

niatigra:

sexygaywizard:

raytoroapologist:

“i love music i wish i could hold it” well you can it’s called a CD and it’s got a hole and everything

TONIGHT WE FUCK MUSIC!!!

(via mygoodb-tch)

lost-carcosa:

epicallyepicepicosity2:

Strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

(via mothersandtruckersofthejury)

campyvillain:

rthko:

Oh but if I tried to open a PUSSY’S sporting goods how would that play out? 🤨

ohhhhum i don’t know…. sorry *puts my hands in my pocket* *walks away glumly *walks into a parking lot*seagull attack

(via despazito)

gunsandfireandshit:

vague-humanoid:

ALT

(via antifasamwilson)

were–ralph:

were–ralph:

CAST CAST NOW CAST NOW DO NOT HESITATE CAST FUCKING NOW

MANIFESTING

MANIFESTING

(via ranchdiip)

answrs:

thebigcomed0wn:

putting “lying to kids is ok” on the table immediately looks bad. but theres nuance. because kids deserve to have as much context and respect as anyone else you live with. but also. telling them that leaving doors open will make ants carry away the entire house is necessary until their brains can quantify the heating&air bill

the ants:

(via rozugold)